A headline from India recently highlighted a new trend. Historically, Indian society has pressured couples to stay together. This is due to the system of arranged marriages and the complexity of the rules as to whether the dowery should be returned if marriages fail. Because there are fewer rules protecting the privacy of litigants in Indian courts, it's possible to see what problems the parties plead to justify the divorce. It's now apparent that about 25% of all divorces are relying on the lack of sexual satisfaction. Put the other way round, men who suffer erectile dysfunction are significantly more likely to face divorce proceedings than men who are sexually active. Because the shame factor is high in Indian culture, these men are reluctant to seek treatment and their wives increasingly defy convention and divorce them.
This suggests we should consider what the situation is in America. Our gossip columns in the traditional media and the blogosphere are full of stories about celebrity couples whose marriages are in trouble. In almost every case, the reasons given revolve around infidelity. He or she has strayed. Some men father children with the nanny - scripts like this would never be made into movies - but no one ever alleges the reason is a failure between the sheets. We still find the embarrassment about sexual dysfunction a major deterrent to openness. Privacy is actively protected whether it's the wife who's depressed and has lost her libido, or the husband who can't maintain the erection.
This means we should assume the celebrities are the same as the rest of humanity. They get frustrated and depressed but, because their celebrity is what earns the money to fund their lifestyles, they cover up the problem. So how does it play out? Most partners are sympathetic and understanding when the problem first appears. Unfortunately, the downward cycle is the predictable outcome. The men become defensive, they grow anxious, and this further affects performance. They then move into avoidance where opportunities for sexual activity become infrequent. Because they refuse to discuss this, the partner ends up feeling isolated and alone, worrying about whether she should feel guilty and, more commonly, feeling increasingly angry.
What the couple should be doing, of course, is talking with each other. This will help them bond and give the relationship strength despite the lack of sexual contact. In an ideal world, the partners would agree a joint approach. If one pushes the other over the question of seeking professional support, this can lead to problems with stubborn refusals, anger and guilt. If this leads to one partner feeling shut out of the relationship, divorce is likely to follow. This suggests Cialis should be an early approach discussed. Even though professional guidance is always desirable, some attempt to treating the problem is better than no attempt. Cialis may be the breakthrough to restore trust and the professional help can come later.
